As I sit here contemplating what to say I have realized that I like so many of you am just plain exhausted. It seems like there is always some fight every day that we all have to gear up for and face head on. It is no wonder that we are all just surviving. I wish I had an "easy" button and that things just got done on their own. I never realized how much caregivers do, until I myself became one. I never imagined that I would be a caregiver to my husband at such a young age. If I had only known how much responsibility I would have as an adult, I would have savored my childhood days so much more. Isn't it funny that when we were young we wanted so badly to be all grown up? Now that I am all grown up, I wish I could run away from it all some days.
We are almost 5 years post injury, and I keep thinking it will get easier, but yet I have to admit that for me it seems to be getting more difficult. My days are filled with task after task, and worry after worry. I often wonder if I will be able to sustain this level of care for many years to come. I have pretty much put all of my dreams on the back burner, which totally sucks but has to be reality for now. I think about the kids and how young they are, I pray they don't grow up resenting us for being so different than other families. What are your fears? What is the hardest part about being a caregiver? There are so many days when I have to deal with resentment towards my husband, even though I know logically none of this is his fault, it still strains our marriage.
So how do we keep going when we are the least supported piece of the puzzle? The VA often ignores us, we get shoved to the back of the waiting rooms while everything is focused on the Veteran. Many case manager's put up with us instead of working with us. It seems like at every turn we are faced with opposition instead of support. I won't even get into the caregiver bill because we all know where that is at this point. I find support in my other Wounded Warrior Wife friends, and other caregiver's as well. This network of support here at VCG has been instrumental in my sanity during on many different occasions. In fact, my main support does not come from family, but from those in the same situation. Together we can make a huge difference.
My goal for this blog as far as my contribution goes, will be to share my own struggles and positive progress as well. I also hope to discuss some different "hot topics" that we are often faced with. I hope you all have a great week!