Caregiving is one tough job. It’s not for sissies. And, you go through so much that many others could not possibly understand unless they experienced it themselves. There is one thing though, that we hope we might shed light on here, and that is your caregiving is your challenge, and it’s impossible to compare it to another family’s challenge.
So many of you have spoken or written that “I don’t want to complain when so-and-so has it so much worse”. Or, “if I have a good day, will it make others feel worse?” What if you know someone else’s situation is so serious that they might not have a good day for a long time, if ever? If you are caregiving, there’s a reason. Please know that it’s natural to make a comparison of situations, but not one that makes you feel badly or restricted in what you say. If that happens as an ongoing pattern, it might be a good idea to distance yourself from that person.
We care about each of you going through your days, and we are grateful for the depth of compassion shared here. It is natural to wish you had different lives. There are always going to be those who “work the system”. But the vast majority of Caregivers and veterans are simply trying to make it through their days seeking improvement in quality of life an hour at a time. And, at the same time seeking peer support that inflates rather than deflates you.
Caregiving is not a competition and there will always be differences in doctors, hospitals, clinics, community resources and more. We all learn and grow with the peer support you provide when sharing your lives with us and each other. Please don’t burden yourselves further by carrying the torch at the Guilt Olympics; we care and you matter.