I happen to
enjoy visits to the "big" VA clinic. It gets me out the house and gets
us around other people. But -- my husband hates those visits. He associates doctors with pain, because
every visit causes him pain, dread, and fear.
Example: he hates the dentist and we had to cancel several
visits because he just plain refuses to get dressed and leave the house. He knows he needs to go, but just sees the
painful part. PTSD, anxiety and mental
issues make it worse.
How do other
caregivers deal with it when your Veteran refuses visits to the Doctor/VA? When it’s hours away and turns into an all-day
event? Do you bribe with visits to
certain places? Do you risk them having
a meltdown in the VA or wherever they hate to go? We try to stay in our role as spouse, but it
feels like being a mother, or shaming him if we insist.
Why is there
no program at the VA for Veterans with Doctor-related anxiety related to
enduring pain? Every visit seems to
incur pain and the further apart the visits, the more pain. If we go to the dermatologist for a mole,
that won’t hurt, but do I bring up the infected toe? Removing part of a nail takes the VA three separate
visits! One to look at it and say
"Yes, it’s infected and needs to be removed", the second is the
actual surgery to remove the sides of the nail and the third is to look at it
two weeks later.
Each of those
visits is a two hour drive -- one way. Again,
why can't they just make it easier for us?
PTSD and anxiety make this very hard.
Can’t this be referred to the big VA for surgery and follow-up locally? No need to make a ten second visit with a
Podiatrist turn into an all day thing.
I hope I can
find an easier way to get his care to make his life and mine easier. The care team doesn’t respond except to tell
him to man up. That doesn’t work because
he doesn’t feel they care about him. I’m tired of badgering to do doctor visits;
am I the only one who’s made out to be the bad guy in “supporting my vet” for
care?
A Tired
Caregiver
