To all:
They are
quiet and often unseen. They are strong and resourceful, caring and
compassionate. They will roar when needed to obtain the help they need. They
are the Caregivers of our nation’s veterans.
Caregivers
are the heartbeat of the military family and the backbone of the veteran
medical care system. According to the
most recent RAND study, there are 5.5 million military Caregivers in 2014, with
20% caring for veterans of our most recent conflicts. But, few know they exist.
For a brief
moment, imagine a “National Take Your Vet to VA Today” event. This would be a day where the 1700 VA medical
centers, vet clinics, or sites of care would attend to the hourly needs of the
veteran to provide the caregiver a single day of respite. It’s nearly unimaginable given the sheer
numbers, isn’t it? But it would be an
excellent visual to show the vital importance and contribution of our veteran Caregivers.
Veteran
Caregivers are intrepid; going where others fear to tread in their quest for
answers. They soak up information and
education about Invisible Injuries like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
and TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and myriad physical and more visible
conditions. They learn to navigate a labyrinthine
medical system, all the while reminding medical staff they are an integral part
of the care team. It has been a slow
road to understanding in a system that previously focused solely on the
veteran, and large bureaucracies are seldom swift change agents.
Caregivers
carry a heavy load, and some examples are shocking. One OIF veteran, raped by another soldier
tried to hang himself; he was saved by his caregiver spouse grabbing a chair
and raising him on her shoulders to elevate him until EMS arrived. Another soldier was shot by one of his squad
mates in Iraq (the only survivor of four in the room) in Iraq; his caregiver
mother could not discuss her situation with anyone due to the
investigation. One caregiver sibling had
to explain to the rest of the family that her brother preferred addiction to
facing his combat PTSD. The complexity
of caregiving is great, with role changes, steep learning curves, and
isolation.
In
providing Caregiver Workshops at military installations this year, several common
themes emerge. Though present in most
communities and at every military base/post, Caregivers feel invisible and
isolated, even from each other. They wish they knew more about how to live with
someone with combat injuries, and how to best understand how to help their
spouse/adult child/sibling/friend. They are grateful for the Internet, but
nothing can take the place of a hug from a peer; someone who has walked in
their shoes. Finally, they realize that
helping others also helps them to grieve for what might have been, restores
their strength, and empowers them to share what they’ve learned. Peer support is critical.
We are a
generous nation, and we move to fulfill unmet needs. Most people know a veteran, and some know
many. From this day forward, reach out
to help a Caregiver of a veteran of any era.
Our WWII vets have aging and end of life needs, our Vietnam veterans
have often shunned formal help until absolutely necessary, and tamped down
combat experiences and their aftermath.
Those in Desert Storm and the Gulf wars, Kosovo, Grenada, Kuwait, and so
many other places are smaller in number, but not in contribution. And, for our OIF/OEF/OND veterans,
successfully returning home is aided when the community recognizes and supports
the entire family.
Proactively
offer assistance to a caregiver who may not have the energy to ask, know the power
of a smile of understanding, and the ease provided by listening without
judgment. Caregivers will not be alone
if we practice outreach, increase awareness, and integrate them with their
families more smoothly into the community. It is a matter of respect,
compassion, and grace.
Caregivers,
know that you matter and that America is learning to express their support and
understanding more each day!
Linda Kreter & the VeteranCaregiver Team
