Optimism is Contagious! Choose Those Around You Wisely

It can be very challenging to be positive when those around you are negative – harder still when those individuals are family members. How can you stay more positive in that situation?

The dynamics of any group are strongly affected by the mindset of those around you.  Since it's next to impossible to change other people (good luck with that!) or to avoid them if they're family (relocation?), one way to positively affect your own viewpoint is to consider your reaction when others act negatively.

Being around those always harping and negative is draining.  Being around those who are positive and optimistic can lift you up.  Think inflate versus deflate! If you're blessed to have a combination of people around you that can support you when you're down and you can do the same for them, that's great. There will always be the naysayers and some people are comfortable in their drama - but don't buy into that.

Work to five a handful of trusted friends who are positive, and can be called when you need a boost.  Do the same for them. If you surround yourself with positive people, then the negative ones you can't avoid will matter less to you.  I call them Toxic Clouds and I work to be pleasant to them, but remove myself when it's not mentally healthy for me to be around them. Do you really need Toxic Rain to fall on you?

Also, positive people help YOU to view things differently and that can be immeasurably helpful. We all have tough, down days, but when you can recall a kind, warm memory from something someone said to you, or incorporate it into your life, you will view things with greater optimism. I love the words from the book, The Slight Edge, by Jeff Olson:  the little things in life are easy to do, but just as easy Not to do. 

As you learn to wade through the water with a more positive view, remember to pass it on.  Mirror the positive attitudes shown you, and now you become the Lifter and it becomes a habit to tune out the negative and re-frame it positively. Just as muscles learn movement to create muscle memory, so can your mind.  

Optimism is contagious, so seek new ways of dealing with the negatives you cannot avoid, surround yourself with Safe People, and grow your optimism and positive perspective daily. You CAN turn negative drama into Harmony for yourself.

Linda Kreter & the

VeteranCaregiver Team

LIVE: Self Check-In

So often as caregivers, we are running so hard, putting ourselves last, and not realizing we are burnt out until we fall ill. Or, we know we’re overwhelmed, but we accept it without question.  What happens when the caregiver is down for the count - the wheels have a tendency to come off, don't they?

Make a promise to yourself to Check-In at least weekly. Better yet, do the same with a trusted caregiver or friend as an “accountability partner” so you don’t neglect to consider your own health.

 Ask these questions to start:

·         Am I eating well? Skipping meals, snacking too much?

·         Do I laugh each day?  Red flag if you don't find something amusing each day, even if you don't laugh out loud. How many times do we text LOL, but not DO it?

·       Am I drinking enough water?  Do I exist on coffee and soda instead?

·         Do I spend quiet time, reflective time, prayer, or meditation each day?

·         Am I sleeping well or enough? 

·         Am I getting any exercise?

·       Do I interact with others each day?  In-person is preferable, but at least by phone to hear a voice or online if all else fails?

If you're aware that you’re not checking in, or struggling when you do, we urge you to talk to someone professionally. Many physicians are only now realizing the strain caregivers carry and how to assist you, but it's growing.  Seek community resources such as faith-based counseling, or call Give An Hour (www.GiveAnHour.org) for cost-free help.  

Life is so precious and perhaps you cannot change your situation, but you can change aspects of taking care of you.

Caregivers are the heartbeat of the family, and make the active choice to care for you.

Linda Kreter & the

VeteranCaregiver Team

New Suicide Prevention Tool - Vet-Tested - Coming Soon!

We must talk.  We must reach out.  We must care.  And, we must trust that we can make a difference together.

Twenty-two Veterans take their own lives every day.  That’s one every 65 minutes.  Every day. Many have sought care, and many refuse to seek care.  All need new options.  Service members, veterans, and their families are suffering in relative silence when so many in our communities and nation are willing to help.  

A new suicide prevention tool is launching very soon.  With a single touch, a smartphone app, CallApp, becomes a virtual crisis center that provides choices to a vet and reduces confusion at times of great stress.  Users can select direct connections to crisis lines, battle buddies, trusted friends, clinicians, organizations, and faith and community-based support.  CallApp will be free to our service members, veterans, and their families, and each can personalize their contacts to readily reach trusted friends and support. 

All features are Vet requested and Vet-tested.  Safe locations, peer support, and options in 36 languages will help encourage rapid adoption.  Additionally, continually updated information on PTSD, TBI, anxiety, depression, MST, chronic pain, and local resources will provide further support.  CallApp provides a unique bridge of communication between the extremes of a crisis intervention or waiting and faltering for help, often alone.   

Ninety-seven percent (97%) of all military families receive information from the Internet or their smartphones according to a recent study, making smartphones the optimal choice for outreach.  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), Military Sexual Trauma (MST), financial strain, relationship fractures, substance abuse, homelessness, chronic pain, depression, anxiety, and feelings of isolation may be precursors for suicidal ideation.  With an average of 25 suicide attempts before a completion, there's enormous opportunity to save lives and guide our service members, veterans, and their families to clinical services they trust, and to compassionate people who care. 

Technology doesn’t save lives; people do, but it’s essential to first connect with and support our service members, veterans and their families. 

Together, we can and will stem the tragedy of military suicides.  

Linda Kreter & the VeteranCaregiver Team