Good Ripples

When I was very small I remember a neighbor coming to our house one day. Her name was Miss Thomas. I don't think my mother knew her well but she had a book for me. It was called The Mystery of Hallowdene Farm.  I think it must have been hers when she was a child because it was printed about 1920.It was just a gentle story for girls and I still have the book among my others.  Every time I look at that worn book I remember Miss Thomas and her one visit to our house.
My point here? It makes me remember how small things can affect others long after they might otherwise be forgotten and it is the small things that make up our day-today existence.

I see my life-actions as a series of ripples, like a stone thrown into a pool. The ripples move out, sometimes they mesh with other ripples and change direction. Sometimes they travel a long distance. We may never know what effect our ripples have. If we send out ripples of caring, love, compassion and understanding, these good ripples may have an effect that we are unaware of, or may never know about. That does not matter. When I smile at a stranger, allow someone ahead of me in the grocery line, say a cheerful word to a grocery store clerk or in other ways bring love and light to the people around me, I am sending out good ripples.
I wonder if a good ripple would have made any difference in the life of the persons who have wielded guns in this past week and taken so many lives.  We are unable to know, but this does not stop me trying to send out all the good ripples I can. I don't know if it would stop a person with murder in his heart. I don’t know if it would help a suicidal person stop and think before committing the act. I do know that I have to try.
The events of this past week are going to with us for a very long time. I cannot think there can be many people in the US who are not appalled by these recent shootings.  It does make me reflect  on the fact that we tend to ignore the small things in our lives.  Just think how good life could be if we all made an effort to send out those good ripples. Best of all it does not cost a thing.
Wishing you all a Blessed Holiday Season.

How Do You Keep Going?

Good evening,

It has been a very tough week.  And, somehow, it’s harder to manage the emotional turmoil when the weather is beautiful than in the cold of winter.  We are always, always glad to help Caregivers and their families, but it’s becoming more difficult to understand why the multiple calls and connections we make on behalf of families isn’t being done by those whose jobs exist solely to assist Veterans.  No system is perfect, but the dysfunction seems epic.

Ask yourself if any of the following surprises you?

·         Veteran cannot get a replacement motorized scooter for broken one when completely immobile without it

·         Caregiver cannot obtain monthly pain meds for husband with over 5 days notice, and goes without meds over weekend (31 days wreaks havoc)

·         Veteran has two orthopedic surgeries (one corrective of the other) and is sent home without assistance nor coordination with Caregiver

·         Rehabiliation specialist tells the Caregiver to “Shut Up” when explaining the downward spiral of immobility of her husband

·         Families buy hospital bed/toilet/assistive devices/crutches/etc off Craigslist because cannot obtain after months of waiting

·         Veteran told his wheelchair is denied because his injury “isn’t service-connected enough”

·         Veteran told no admittance to PTSD program because “you need to be physically and mentally well first”

·         Veteran told by emergency line that “I see you’re a ‘frequent flyer’ on this line – what do you want this time?”

·         Caregiver and Veteran not heard when they explained that a med he took was causing him to be physically violent (they stopped it anyway)

·         Delay upon delay in ratings, mental health appointments, approvals, referrals, treatment

·         Calls and emails to VA care teams and coordinators not returned in two days, four days, a week, ever…

Thank goodness Caregivers and Veteran families are strong, well-spoken, and determined.  They have to be.  This VCG Community will continue to listen, respond, provide contacts and a warm hand-off to caring resources, and will find you that battle buddy, someone to help, and stick with you until the issues are resolved as far as possible.  We only wish that the indignities, the disrespect, and the undermining of the Caregiver and Veteran would dwindle and cease.  We look forward to the day when no one is surprised that we are asking for help for what you earned, that those that are paid to do so readily provide it, and then -- make it their responsibility to follow-up and care.

As a very old song goes:  Wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin, and prayin’,

The VeteranCaregiver Team

Does Courtesy Matter When Lives Hang in the Balance?

Greetings, friends,

     A common theme has run through VeteranCaregiver since its inception in spring 2010:  caregiver and veteran persistence is needed in order to achieve progress or problem resolution.  Most accept this truth and reality.
     Lately, however, when lives hang in the balance because a "courtesy" is lacking, then we all experience a systemic problem. Throughout VCG, you already know of some serious caregiver and veteran issues that resulted in urgent and immediate coordination and action.  However, what is the protocol when there is no visible after-action?  Calls unreturned, and certainly no proactive follow-up?
    This is not compassionate care. It is not right.  And, it is simple to fix.  
    This VCG community of peers, mentors, friends, and professionals has always followed through.  Caring is abundant and actions supersede words. Please convey the message far and wide that veterans and caregivers cannot and must not suffer or even die because they were not a priority and afforded a "courtesy". 
Thank you for caring, supporting, and reaching out.  A cord of three strands is not easily broken.
Linda