Independence Day

Hi friends,

It’s now July 5^th, and the fireworks and parades are gone for another year, but this year, the Tall Ships are sailing to commemorate the War of 1812.  My good friend recently sailed on Maryland's Pride of Baltimore up the Chesapeake Bay, and up the coast to Boston.  He said it was like stepping back in time…

Wars are seemingly omnipresent, but we want to recognize that freedom does not come free, as all of you:  the Caregivers, service members, and veterans, live with the consequences daily. Please know that we salute your service, your commitment, your entire family’s contribution to keeping America free, and safe, and yes, independent.

God bless your service and our country!

Linda Kreter and the VeteranCaregiver team

Stark Street

Greetings, friends,

Like many people, I rely on GPS to locate places unknown.  Fiona, as she is known in my car, doesn’t always get it right, and I couldn’t help but sigh when I was recently “misplaced” on “Stark Street”.  I mean, really???

My outlook that day was not so great… pretty sure you can relate.  How many of you have gotten stuck on Stark Street?  It seems to happen to all of us, and how we cope with turning around and going in the right direction tells us a great deal about our mental and physical condition at the time.  If we’re rested, reasonably happy, and have a goal in mind, we can usually resolve the misdirection.  It’s when we’re exhausted, fairly down and unhappy, with goals in mind but brain fog on how to resolve the hurdles that the wheels come off – and Stark Street becomes a dead end.

When Stark Street becomes your dead end, please don’t forget to reach out.  It can be very affirming to know that you’re not alone.  You DO have options, and you absolutely matter.  On my specific “lost day”, I called a very reliable friend who guided me to a landmark where Fiona could take charge again.  We laughed at the irony of the street name, but turning around is easier with help from a friend you can trust. 

May you seldom find yourself on Stark Street, but if you do, reach out because we are here for each other!

Linda 

Fitting Description of Caregivers

Hi friends,

Caregiving for warriors and veterans seems to be getting more intense, though we cannot put our finger on the reason.  There are no doubt many. Yet, as caregivers, no matter the circumstances, you all step up and master the next step, even under sometimes harrowing conditions.  So what is a good description of the mighty Caregiver?

Caregivers are a combination of grace under pressure, power and strength, and compassionate fortitude to go the extra mile(s).

If you were a flower, what would you be?  Consider the simple daisy.  It is a tall flower with a slender stem, but it holds up a large, sturdy flower and bends with the winds, even at their highest levels.  Rarely do daisies blow over, but when they do, the next day, they are standing tall, faces to the sun.  You too stand tall, carrying a heavy load, swaying sometimes in fierce winds, but you are indomitable.  You also do this year after year, just as the perennial daisy.

If you were an animal, what best describes you?  How about a Mama Grizzly bear, known for her fierce loyalty, deep instincts, and extraordinary protection of her brood.  Daily, you too exhibit this tenacity, and nothing will get in the way of obtaining care for your warrior, even if it means you look after yourself last.  But, like the Grizzly, you choose your battles wisely so that you will conserve energy and knowledge to get yet another step ahead in recovery.

And, if you were a vehicle, what do you envision?  Certainly that snappy little convertible is fast, but for protection, perhaps you are the most tricked-out, armored, armed, and serious vehicle in the United States, “The Beast”, that can go anywhere, anytime.  You’re hard to penetrate, built to withstand much, provide protection for your family, and you roll on.  You’re built for the long journey, while also looking sharp for important events, because showing your best face forward is how you share your confidence.

Finally, you have the biggest heart, the widest embrace, and the best smile in the universe for those who’ve earned your trust.  We salute you this Flag Day; Caregivers are amazing people and patriots!

Linda

Small Bits of Quirky Caregiver Humor

This week, complete with Full Moon and a migratory Venus, had some comical or just plain surprising moments.  Of course, that’s depending on your perspective, so it’s possible that your idea of quirky may be different than ours.  All incidents below are provided in good fun.  Sometimes, though, “you just had to be there”!

Caregiving has its moments and here are a few:

·         Following a recent emergency situation, one of the local police cars were outside the home.  In a moment of candor and revelation, the Caregiver said “Did you know that policemen hang their handcuffs on the turn signal? That’s where I hang my hair scrunchies!”

·         One Caregiver tried valiantly to reach her Caregiver Coordinator over a period of two weeks.  She eventually received a callback voicemail that said “Thank you for your calls, but I’m out the next five days”.  When they finally connected seven days later, the Caregiver was told:  “I received two voicemails, an email, a Post-it Note, and a message from my supervisor to call you, but the problem isn’t in my job description”.  When the Coordinator coulen’t inform her of whose job it was, there was an email follow-up provided.  The Subject Line in the email below says it all.  J

·        A Caregiver went to pick up a pain medication prescription (in person) at the end of the month as usual.  The pharmacy said that the veteran could not be out of medicine for the month?  The caregiver showed the paper record of her son taking the medicine as directed.  After three hours, the problem was determined to be that the pharmacy could not or would not adjust for months with 31 days in them.  

·         It took a Caregiver to show spinal compressions from scans to get attention for repeatedly catching her falling husband over a long period of time. VA is now providing for a battery of tests to determine the veteran’s balance issues following this ER physician note that said:  “A wife is not a proper assistive device”!

·         Finally, we think a series of “educational T-shirts” would help PTSD and TBI public awareness and suggest slogans like the following:

Ø  Let Him Keep the Hat On! (The Nosy Civilian’s Guide to Veteran Clothing)

Ø  Anger vs Shock (or, Why Your Question Was Wildly Inappropriate)

Ø  PTSD in Pop Culture (Phil & Friends Frenzy)

Ø  He’s MY Veteran and Yours! (Give Us Some Room Please)

Ø  My Injuries May be Invisible – but I’m Invincible!

Ø  My Mother DOES Wear Combat Boots!

Ø  Dining Out?  We’ll Take the Seats With Our Backs Against the Wall…

Ø  Mom Can’t Sign My Report Card – She’s In Afghanistan

Please share your quirky moments and have a very good weekend!

Linda 

Memorial Day 2012 - Annapolis MD

Greetings, friends,

Yesterday marked the official remembrance of those who died to fight for our freedom.  We say “official” because far more often than a single day a year, Patriots remember their friends and neighbors who gave their lives so we could maintain liberty.  In DC this year, there was finally a formal ceremony for the Vietnam Veterans who were not welcomed back by a grateful nation.  The contrast was striking then as compared to today:  troops were spat upon, cursed as “baby killers”, and told to change out of uniform upon arrival in states for their own safety.  We have come a long way, but not far enough.

In Annapolis, the Memorial Day parade was different this year. Few politicians, no cheerleaders in skimpy uniforms, but instead our USNA band, a flag-draped casket with vigilant guard, first responders, serious banners ("Lest We Forget"), and groups of war veterans and their families, gathered to remember and also to step forward.  So often our service and veteran families humbly stand back, do not self-identify, and are not recognized.  This year they were honored.

And, so as the days go forward, and your family is seeking education, employment, friendship, coordination, assistance, and support, know that this VCG Community also stands quietly available to you each day, to the best of our ability to help. 

Very respectfully,

Linda

PS:  On a personal level, here’s a photo of my (Vietnam Veteran) uncle and me.  He mattered then and he matters now – so too do your families remain in our thoughts and prayers.

Caregiver Jobs & Career Thoughts

Hi friends,

Last Friday, the Chamber of Commerce held the first ever Military Spouse and Caregiver Forum and Hiring Event.  We were very pleased to be included and were on the schedule with Blue Star Families to provide a Caregiver Roundtable.  As it turns out, we worked this more informally than expected, but it was apparent that we need to use every opportunity to educate corporations about the value of hiring caregivers.  As you know, caregiving is on a continuum, and employers will be better able to offer positions with greater understanding of the phases of caregiving. 

Since this was held near Bethesda, the caregivers that attended this event were still actively caregiving at Walter Reed (WRNNMC).  First-stage caregivers are very deeply involved in their service member’s recovery, and possible jobs would need to be supremely flexible; not impossible but challenging.  Importantly, though, this is a very good time to re-tool a resume, learn how to translate your skills into career enhancers, and to review priorities in interests and job choice.  There is also a wide variation of skills and capabilities among caregivers, and an excellent workshop was held for those seeking to resume higher-level professional careers. Again, this is an excellent time to now translate your civilian skills into a possible governmental track, if this appeals to you.

The group that was underrepresented at this event were the caregivers who are now out of the hospital and in the community. At this secondary caregiving stage, we believe those who re-work their resumes and attend such events will find willing and eager employers.  Flexibility, telework, and research are all possible for the stay-at-home caregiver, and VeteranCaregiver and Blue Star Families will continue to discuss the employment potential and value of caregivers to employers wherever we go.  As you view the years ahead, caregiving and treatments will presumably continue to bring forth new options, and taking advantage of these community events is a great first step toward resuming your work, or calling.

One of the most remarkable things to us is that the military community is now purposefully inserting Caregiver elements into nearly all events.  This includes medical care, education, employment, transition, communication, and outreach topics.  In other words, could it actually be that Caregiving has reached the ears of enough people to resonate and expand the military’s perception?  We say a resounding “Yes”!!!  Take advantage of the events around you, re-tool that resume even if you are not ready to use it, talk to employers whenever possible, and realistically consider your options over time.  Just as you thought little medical progress was occurring at the time – remember that you now view great strides from the place you now stand.

Caregivers are emotionally strong, resourceful, loyal, and persistent people.  These attributes make for excellent employees.  Where you are today will not be where you are tomorrow; be ready when the circumstances and opportunity arises.

We support you; let us know how we might help.

Linda

Ahh, PTSD Awareness & Compassion Shown!

Greetings, friends,

One of my favorite Caregivers called today with a story of a great out-in-public experience.  Her husband, a veteran with moderate to severe PTSD wanted to go to the midnight showing of the new movie, The Avengers last night.  She was surprised, and also glad.  How very normal!  She immediately began mentally considering the environment:  they knew the building, the exits, the parking, the ticket line, but surely the crowds on opening night would be daunting?  Quick discussion: he really wanted to make the effort, so on they went.

The theatre and surrounding area was packed with people and after she’d bought the tickets, her vet started to become fairly agitated.  Since she’d been planning in her mind for the past hour, she easily located the manager and explained that her husband was a combat veteran with PTSD, and would he possibly help them?  The manager asked what specifically disturbed him?  She replied:  the crowd, needing a seat near the exit, some sounds, and the hope of not disturbing others.  His face cleared, and he said:  “Oh, like Captain America!”  (Captain America was the star character of a World War II movie of a veteran who was frozen in time, but when he “came back” years later, he had these same PTSD reactions and went on to become a super-hero.) 

The manager immediately asked a few smart questions, then guided them to the smallest of the many theatres, found them seats apart from others yet with clear access to the exit, and also said that if they needed to leave, he would comp their tickets.  He even went on to say that if there were a group of vets in the area who wanted to view the movie together that they would be glad to arrange it at a quieter time!

The loved the movie.  They were grateful to the manager.  And, mostly, they loved the outlook that (unlike the recent media sensationalism of PTSD), this veteran was compared to Captain America – a character that had been changed by his military service – but who was regarded as a Hero.  

Bottom line:  with calm planning, informing others of their needs, and a blessing in the form of a wonderful theatre manager, a wonderful movie night was enjoyed by all!

May you all enjoy a Captain America experience very soon,

Linda